In life, we are not taught to value ourselves.
Our whole education system is about marks, learning, repeating information and not taking too long to get your postgraduate qualifications in case you ‘hold someone else up’ coming through the system.
We are not valued for what we bring, and in particular we are not at all valued for who we are.
We learn from very young that who we are has no value, but it is learning information, or perhaps sporting achievements or being ‘the best’ at something that has some sort of value, so we start to constrain our natural personalities, conforming to some mould that does not reflect who we are.
That moulding comes from not valuing who we are, so that pain of having no value lives always deep within us, covered up by the mould. Its gets even greater as we get older as we get no feedback of value for who we are and what we bring underneath it all, as in particular we never share that deeper sensitive part of ourselves with the world!
If we do not value ourselves and do not truly value what we bring, then we are well on the way to burnout, giving up on life, withdrawing and not coping, feeling that what we do brings no value to people.
If what we do and bring makes no difference then after all, why bother, right?
When we don’t value ourselves, we start to make choices that are harming and not truly healthy. Continue reading